Happy Artificial Holiday Day!

As everyone probably knows, I tend to be a little bit salty about Valentine's Day. Growing up, my siblings and I called it Chocolate Day, because our parents gave us chocolate candy every year to celebrate. Now that I'm grown, I find the whole "holiday" to be a little silly--Why only do loving things for your s/o once a year? Why not be loving year round?--and the fact that I've never had experience with having a so-called Valentine makes it a little hard for me to understand the hype.

That said, I'll still always enjoy the day for being Chocolate Day, and I'll still always send all of my internet friends meme Valentine cards that seem semi-threatening in a goofy way. (e.g., last week I sent one friend a "card" of a Kirby character exclaiming "Happy Valentines Day! I promise I'll never eat your soul!" that I found on Twitter. They loved it.)

Surprisingly to some people, Valentine's Day is just as big a day in Japan and East Asia as it is in the States/Europe, possibly even bigger. Everyone is highly aware when Valentine's Day is coming up, especially the moms and grandmas who are responsible for helping their elementary-through-junior-high schoolers make homemade treats for everyone in their class.

In my homestay family, Mama and Aa-chan (Grandma; a shortened form of Obaasan/Obaachan, grandmother) made little cakes for everyone in both daughters' classes. I attempted to help but mostly just ended up giggling every time the mixer broke down and I and Aa-chan would scold it. "It's not very kind," ("amari yasashikunai desu ne,") I added helpfully, which thankfully, the whole family found quite amusing.

And, of course, Rimi-chan and Aya-chan brought home treats from all of their classmates, a few of which (and one little cake) they gave to me with a little post-it note that said "Dear リズ" (Rizu being the nickname given to me by Aa-chan the week after Setsubun).

(And on the subject of nicknames, Mama called me "Erizabesu-chan" the other day, which just about made my day. Ever since I've been walking around thinking "I am the smart and cute protagonist of my own anime and abso-freakin-lutely nobody is allowed to make me feel bad about myself." It's nice to feel self-confident for once.)

But beyond grade school, Valentine's Day is still a serious matter over here. You see, Valentine's Day actually goes hand-in-hand with a March holiday known as White Day. You can't really have one without the other.

Valentine's Day is the day when girls high-school-aged-and-up give homemade treats (usually chocolates they've molded into cute shapes) to the boys they like/have crushes on, oftentimes as a quiet way to confess. White Day is the boys' turn to reciprocate--if a boy gives you chocolates/treats back, congrats, he likes you. If you never hear anything else about it after Valentine's Day, well... Better luck next time, I guess.

But the point here is that Valentine's Day is a day for girls to take action when it comes to matters of the heart. Which, overall, is pretty different from the way it works in the States.

Funnily enough, this difference led to a group of single American young women giving our South Korean professor a brief crash course in United States Valentine's Day.

First of all, a brief word about Professor Chang. As I mentioned, he's South Korean, and so far I know he's fluent in English, Japanese, Chinese, and that he knows at least some Russian and French. He might be fluent in those too; I don't know for sure. He used to work for the South Korean government, and was part of the Six Party Talks that up until a few years ago were attempting to persuade our jolly friends the Kims of North Korea to not build nukes. Since that, fairly obviously, has fallen through, he's now started teaching about nuclear weapons at the college level. So, I'm taking nuclear weapons class with him this semester.

(Also interesting is that, before the Six Party Talks, he was part of the branch of government in charge of keeping track of which South Korean citizens were currently abroad and whether or not they made it safely home when expected. "We lose three or four citizens to India every year," he told us, "whether by death or just disappearance. India's not a safe place. Don't go to India. If you have to go to India, whatever you do, absolutely never drink the water outside of a hotel." Considering the things my best friend's boyfriend (an Indian citizen) has said about India, I think Professor Chang's advice is pretty solid.)

Anyway, on Valentine's Day, I had class with Professor Chang, and after class, as most of the guys had left and a few of us girls were taking our time getting our backpacks re-packed and ready to go, someone coming in for her class afterwards mentioned, "Today is Valentine's Day."

Professor Chang agreed, "So it is," and then asked in surprise, "They have that in the United States? Is it a big deal?"

We single-and-salty American ladies gave each other a look somewhere along the lines of "oh boy."

"Yeah, but it's pretty different," I started off. "Here, it's more about girls doing things. In the US, it's more like... guys giving flashy gifts to girls they're already in relationships with."

"And then the girls bragging about the gifts all over social media and making every girl who doesn't have a boyfriend feel bad," another girl chimed in.

About this time an American guy came in for his next class (otherwise, it was just a bunch of female students at this point) and sat down at a desk to listen.

"It's also a time when you hear single people complain a lot," I added. "Some people jokingly call it Singles Awareness Day."

"So you have to already be in a relationship to celebrate?" Professor Chang clarified.

A round of nods. "Basically," a girl agreed.

"The week before Valentine's Day, you see a bunch of memes online that say things like 'If anybody likes me, they need to tell me now!'" I added.

The professor nodded. "I can see why that would make sense, if you have to already be in a relationship."

All of us girls kinda sighed and nodded.

Professor Chang turned to the one guy in the room. "Sounds like you need to get some chocolates or something for the ladies."

The guy laughed in embarrassment. "Yeah, I guess so."

Anyway, shortly after that I left, but it was still funny. I think the funniest part was how odd Professor Chang found it that Valentine's Day in the States is more about bragging about what you already have, and less about confessing to someone that you like them.

Of course, people who are already couples tend to celebrate on Valentine's Day here, too; they just tend to be a bit subtler than in the States (where you're all but guaranteed to see at least twelve posts on Instagram featuring a girl being noisily given a giant stuffed animal in the middle of a school somewhere. It's almost as bad as promposal season, I swear).

Overall, though, I think I like Valentine's Day better over here. It's less of an opportunity to show off in a materialistic fashion, and more a time to actually tell someone you like them for the first time. And honestly, I think that's pretty sweet.

It's still just Chocolate Day for me, though. I bought myself a Valentine's Day Kirby collector's tin of several little chocolates, which I enjoyed eating while listening to music that evening. And that's cool too.