Monday, March 11, 2019

The Pros and Cons of Living with a Host Family

Pros:

Your host mom truly becomes, in many ways, your surrogate mom for the time you're under her care. Depending on the society, maybe she doesn't hug you or pet your hair like your real mom does, but she shows her affection in her own ways. She pats your backpack when you head out for the day, reminds you to take an umbrella in case it rains like the forecast says it might, and tells you to take care. She slips up and calls you the society's version of a pet name on occasion, even though normally she takes care to call you by your real name in order to sound polite and respectful. If you tell her you especially enjoyed a dish, you notice she starts making it just often enough for you to realize she wants you to be able to enjoy your favorite meal fairly often. She tells you to run your heater even when you feel bad about the electricity usage, because she doesn't want you to get sick. She tells you not to forget your jacket, since it gets cool out still in the late afternoons when the sun starts setting. She gets excited when you tell her you did well on a test, and even more so when you tell her you made a new friend. If you make a mistake in the local language, she gently corrects it. She laughs whenever she discovers some new aspect of her home culture that you already know about and enjoy.

Your host dad is really a dad too. He laughs at things on the TV with you, and laughs even more when he realizes you're laughing too. He asks what you're working on for school, and when you show him, comments "That's tough... please do your best!" He tells you funny stories about things that are happening to the family's friends and at his work, oftentimes using funny voices. He teaches you interesting things about the culture. He gets overjoyed when you learn a local dialectal phrase and use it correctly.

Your host grandma is a grandma. She helps you when you have a crafts-y project you want to try and go to her to ask for advice--and when you thank her for her help, she tells you "it's my first time trying this too." She comments on how well you do everything--according to her, at least, you use chopsticks well, you play the piano well, you sing well, you fold origami well. She loves when you show her photographs of your family and home surroundings and tell her things about where you come from. She gives you a nickname and uses it often. She makes sure you get enough to eat and excitedly teaches you about different kinds of food.

Your host sisters are sisters. They sing duets with you of their favorite songs, letting you sing the English bits and singing the parts in other languages themselves. They sit on the floor and laugh at the TV with you, sometimes to the point where you're all dissolved in giggles and can't even see the TV anymore, leaving mom in the kitchen to comment "well, now EVERYONE is laughing!" They laugh when you make an obvious mistake in the language, but correct you nonetheless, and you know their laughter is all in good fun. Sometimes when they buy a snack while they're out, they buy an extra to bring home and give you, so you can try it too. They make you laugh with their antics--the way they make faces at their homework, the way they dance around the house together to their favorite songs.

Your host family is a family. They make you one of their own. They teach you their customs, their tastes, their celebrations, their language, their culture. They do what they can to make you feel at home. They support you in your life abroad. They do so much for you, and treat you so kindly, and really just make you feel like you belong.

Cons:

You know that after the months you spend living with them, laughing with them, eating with them, picking up their mannerisms, internalizing their faces, their smiles, their voices...

You'll probably never get to see them or even talk to them again.

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