Minor Apprehensions

Don't get me wrong. I'm still beyond excited to go, and now that I've already bought my plane tickets and got my visa, there'd be no room to chicken out even if I wanted to.

That said, I'm starting to feel a little bit nervous. I don't think anything's going to go wrong, and I'm sure I'll have a great time. I'm not so much worried about what's going to happen there, as what I'm going to miss here.

I'm going to miss my brother's high school graduation next May, my little sister's birthday and her confirmation, and my littlest brother's birthday. Several of my closest college friends are seniors, and after next week, I might never get to see them again in my life. I'm not gonna get to see my best campus friend's senior art show, or see all of my senior friends walk at graduation.

I'm glad I finally get to go to Japan, and I wouldn't trade this opportunity for the world. I'm just... really gonna miss my friends and family on this side of the globe too. I know I can still call and text and stuff (pocket wifi for the win), and I know part of the reason this blog exists is to be able to stay in touch with the people I care about (especially since I didn't end up getting the Gilman).

It's just... hard to believe the semester is already over. I went stargazing and on a hayride with some friends back in August, right after the summer started, and that feels like forever ago, and yet, at the same time, the time since then has absolutely rushed by. It felt unreal when fall break got here back in October, and even more so when Thanksgiving break rolled around a couple weeks ago. And now, here I am, a week from winter break. After this semester, I only have two more here at my home school, and then it'll be off to grad school.

I realize this post is a lot more rambly than most, and there's a pretty good chance this is the most rambly post I'll have on here. I just needed to get my thoughts out.

I'm going to be a better person for the experience, I know. But it's still hard knowing that the world back home is going to go on without me, and that I'm going to miss a lot of things. I'm definitely so excited to go on this adventure, and like I said, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

It just sort of feels like I really am going to have to trade my whole home world so that I can go.